Why teach Stone Age skills and nature connection?
As the parent of a 15-year-old son, I’ve spent a lot of time looking at the journey we are on together and how to best support him on his way to becoming a man. Having an obedient child would be easiest, but many children that are complacent as pre-teens become angry terrors in their teen years. Besides, obedience is a quality that I value in a dog, not a man.
I looked at the adults that I admired and enjoyed spending time with. What characteristics did they have in common? These individuals were confident, open-minded, decisive, compassionate, positive, grateful, intuitive and had a great sense of humor. And more to the point, these people knew themselves deeply, knew what they wanted to get out of life, and knew how to have fun doing it. They walked their own path. They didn’t ask for permission or wait for help or for someday to arrive before beginning the process of living their life to the utmost.
I realized that my son needed support to grow into this and that the typical public school focus on intellect, obedience, schedule, differences, and judgment would not give him all that he needed.
Fortunately for my son, much of the guidance he needed came naturally. He was born in a house with no electricity on an island off the coast of British Columbia. He learned to walk on uneven ground and most of his toys were rocks and sticks. Though we moved inland eventually, he was almost always in nature, attuned to the rhythm of the land and sea.
He learned about natural consequences. Sitting quietly meant that animals would approach curiously; being loud and unaware meant that the animals would leave. Patience yielded fish. Attention to detail brought beautiful agates from amongst the thousands of stones we walked over. Awareness and presence kept his small fingers safe when carving with his knife. Persistence enabled him to eventually catch fish by hand and touch a deer. Every success gave him confidence in his ability to achieve whatever he wanted most.
Eventually, he and I moved away from the wilderness and small towns of the remote places we called home. We moved to Los Angeles, and a nature boy was dropped into a totally different sort of wilderness, one characterized by concrete, people and the sounds of traffic. Would his “bush skills” serve him here?
The answer is a resounding “YES”. After nearly a year in LA, he is happy, focused on doing well in school, looking forward to driving a car, dating, starting his own business, and popular with both his peers and adults. He is coming to know himself deeply, what he wants to get out of life, and he is definitely going to have fun doing it!
When a person knows WHO he is, then his behaviors will be a natural consequence of that knowing. Every action will flow from choosing out of all of the options the one most in alignment with that inner knowing. From those actions will unfold a life in alignment with his core. He will have a career, friends, lover, car, house and all the rest that he wants because they are natural consequences of his actions, just like the natural consequences he learned in the bush. Being leads to doing leads to having.
I’ve been teaching Stone Age skills and nature connection for 27 years. I do so because I love seeing people succeed. Every quality that a child needs to learn to get the most out of life is easier to learn in nature than anywhere else because our instincts are still alive within us. We remain instinctual beings, covered only by a thin veneer of sophistication.
Nature and the skills of ancient gatherer-hunter peoples (your ancestors) help to fill in the pieces that are missing from society today. Understanding one’s place within nature as a “member of” rather than a “master over” provides a sense of community and stability. Knowing how to meet one’s needs directly from the land instills confidence during uncertainty.
How to build a no trace fire
Choose a location that is free from tree roots, as much as possible. Sand is the best substrate to build a no trace fire upon. Dig down at least 3-4 inches and set aside the sod. Lining the edge of rocks is up to you; rocks hold heat and reflect heat back towards the fire, making for a hotter fire, but the flames may blacken the rocks.
Gather a large quantity of small twigs, finger-sized branches, and wrist-sized branches and keep them in separate piles.
Begin your fire with the small twigs, but keep half of the twigs aside. Build up your fire with larger sticks until you are using the largest wood that you have and maintain the fire with large wood.
An hour or so before you are ready to leave, start decreasing the size of the wood that you add. As the fuel size diminishes, occasionally stir through the ashes to bring up to the surface any unburned coals. By the time you have finished burning your last small twigs, you should be left with a pile of fluffy ashes, but no partially burned wood.
If the forest is wet and there is absolutely no risk of forest fire, I often scatter the ashes. Otherwise, pour water over the ashes and replace the soil and sod (if you are camping for more than a day, remember to water the sod). If you lined your fire with rocks, scatter them with black side down.
Within a few weeks, your campsite should be indistinguishable from the surrounding forest.
Relationships & Vibration
Today I’m going to talk about relationships: why you’re attracted to whoever it is that you find attractive, regardless of their faults, abusiveness, argumentativeness, laziness, and so on..
I’ll also talk about why relationships fail and how you can create lasting love.
Finally, I’ll talk about the big picture of how this is all about you learning your lessons along your Journey to Wholeness.
In the first video, I introduced trauma and the vibration and limiting beliefs that accompany it. When our unconscious mind brings us back to familiar experiences that activate the stored energy of the original trauma, that is called re-traumatization. Let’s go into some detail about how this works in finding your “true love.”
Every time an overwhelming event occurs, you build up and store energy. That energy is created to help you run or fight, if you need to. This is the fight-flight-freeze mechanism that we developed millions of years ago as a survival strategy. Remember, our species has been on the menu of big predators until just recently, and all big predators have a chase response, so running away was more likely to result in getting eaten than freezing in place. We developed a physiological response to overwhelming events. We don’t think, our body just takes over.
Remember, though, we are physically paralysed but internally mobilized to fight or flee. We have all this energy held frozen but ready. Once the event is over, if we don’t release that energy through tears or anger or consciously moving the energy (not suppressing the energy through deep breathing or meditation), it becomes a trauma and the ego will create a limiting belief to hold that energy there until we’re able to look at it again and heal it.
All energy has a vibration, and our traumas create some of the most powerful vibrations in the body. These vibrations are responsible for who you find attractive and who will be attracted to you. More on this in a minute…
Imagine that you lived 10,000 years ago and you were nearly caught by a sabre-toothed cat. You were very afraid and overwhelmed by the event and it left a trauma “scar.” You developed limiting beliefs stating that “big cats are dangerous” and “I need to be careful because the world isn’t safe.” These limiting beliefs are true and useful for your survival.
You can run but you cannot hide…
By Chris Morasky
One of the most profoundly liberating realizations is that we have no secrets. Every untruth and limiting belief that we hold is embodied in us and revealed to everyone we meet. What we try to hide is observable in our posture, the tension and relaxation of our muscles, our tone and volume and pace of our speaking, our choice of words, the degree of openness of our eyelids, our skin tone, where we focus our eyes, our degree of coordination, our activity level, the clothing we wear, and many more traits.
Very few people consciously understand what these outward manifestations mean, but EVERYONE understands them unconsciously and immediately. We are an open book whose entire story is read by the unconscious of others in a single glance.
Have you ever been attracted to someone from across the room? Your eyes meet and suddenly, you just KNOW that you have a connection. It’s love at first sight! You’ve just unconsciously read the book of that person and immediately understand that there is passion between you. This passion comes from the blending of your emotional wounds (traumas). You’ve just met someone who is uniquely qualified to bring your issues out of “hiding” and into consciousness so that you can heal them (this is the source of many arguments after the honeymoon phase ends, lol!).
And you understood that connection with a single glance…
Your unconscious mind processes about 2 million bits of information per second, yet you are consciously aware of only about 126 bits per second. How you feel about yourself, especially the beliefs that you formulated in childhood, determine which 126 bits you notice. Consequently, you may instinctively like or dislike someone, yet be unable to explain why. The ability of everyone to unconsciously read everyone else also explains why some people continually feel taken advantage of, how bullies find their victims, and why some people have “all the luck”. We evaluate each person that we meet to determine if we can engage in a dynamic with them. The dynamic around the bully and the bullied is one example; these two kinds of people will inevitably be attracted to each other.
Think of a trauma that you have experienced, big or small. The event left an imprint within your physical and emotional body specific to the key details of that episode. If the trauma involved abuse from another person, the quality of the energy of that person will be locked into your imprint of the event. You can think of this imprint like a puzzle piece with edges unique to each important aspect of the trauma.
When you encounter someone, your unconsciousness instantly scans for a match to your puzzle piece, someone who holds the OTHER side of your trauma dynamic so that the edges of their trauma puzzle piece fit with yours. If there is a match, then there will be an attraction. It’s that simple. The more closely all of your trauma puzzle pieces match up with theirs, the more intense the attraction.
You may be wondering… “If love is so desirable and feels so good, why are we “programmed” to find someone who will re-play with us our most frightening events?” The beauty of love is that it opens us and we choose to become vulnerable. We trust our partner enough to allow ourselves to reveal our “secrets”. As the honeymoon phase ends, we feel triggered and reactive around our partner and the arguments, anger and tears increase. In conscious love, we hold each other at these times and allow the tears to flow, releasing the buried trauma energy, growing closer and deepening our ability to love. In unconscious love, we react through blame, judgment, distraction, and projection.
The most beautiful and perfect part of the love dynamic is that when one person heals in the arms of their partner, the other person can heal their trauma piece at the same time.
This is how attraction works. Unconsciously, at least, everyone knows all of the most important information about everyone else.
So stop trying to hide. Be honest and real. Because… we already know.
Being with difficulty
Life isn’t always easy. Sometimes our lives are just plain difficult, or even painful, and we can’t immediately change it. We need to “BE” with difficulty.
Modern society doesn’t teach this essential skill, but in fact teaches the opposite. We are bombarded with images from the media showing us how to be more popular, prettier, smell better, more comfortable. There is no market in the acceptance of one’s current state of affairs.
Consequently, most people who experience difficulty immediately look for something to “fix” it. Maybe some chocolate will help. How about a movie? Call a friend? Something to drink?
It’s not that these “fixes” are bad, it’s just that our experience of difficulty has something to teach us, and if we don’t learn acceptance and patience, we miss the learning and healing that can happen.
Living naturally, Mother Earth is the best teacher. We learn patience because we have no choice. We must wait for storms to pass, for morning to arrive, for a deer to walk close enough to shoot. And while we are waiting, we experience cold, wet, hunger, boredom, thirst, and more. Sometimes our response will be fear, a thinking response that asks, “What if?” What if the storm continues and I get more cold and wet? What if I can’t find food today? What if a dangerous animal finds me?
When we lack the ability to change things like the weather, we learn to accept. We learn patience because we see that nothing stays the same, and our patience is rewarded through success in hunting or fishing or making a bow drill fire or watching the sun come out. Eventually, if we keep at it, we succeed.
We also learn to face our fears and heal our inner wounds (which is the source of the fear that is created by our thinking). We gain confidence in ourselves and faith in our connection with our Sources of Life.
Unfortunately, we aren’t encouraged to learn these essential skills today. If the weather is cold or wet, we go home. This applies to our social skills, too. Acceptance and patience are necessary for anyone who wants to be a good friend, but people who have not learned patience and acceptance will cross off a “so-called-friend” and look for new ones without ever learning the gift of a different perspective that their ex-friend had to offer.
I see the lack of skill to be with difficulty (and gain the insights that come with it) most dramatically with today’s youth. As technology continues to offer quicker fixes to our emotional state of discomfort, children are learning that they don’t have to change and grow emotionally. They needn’t be concerned with any internal struggles if they can easily change their outer reality. PlayStation, cell phones, YouTube, etc. These are worlds to escape into, away from any discomfort in the real world. Parents make the situation worse if they habitually follow their natural impulse to make everything better. Sometimes children need to hear, “This is the way it is, and you must learn to deal with it.”
Fortunately, the lessons of nature and the skills of our ancestors are still available to us today. The cycles of storm and sun are perpetual, as they should be. When we learn patience and acceptance to wait out the storms, we find that we can be at peace even as we experience discomfort. And then the sun comes out again.